You may have noticed that someone is not behaving as they normally would, or you have the feeling that something is not right with that person.
 
People who are thinking about suicide can sometimes show warning signs or risk indicators.  This section will support you to think about what these signs could be and guide you on practical steps you can take to help someone in this situation and where you can access support. 

No list of warning signs is complete, this is a guideline to help if you are worried. The only way to be sure whether someone is thinking about suicide is to ask.

If you are talking to someone who tells you that they are feeling suicidal and have a plan that they are going to act upon, do not leave the person on their own and do one of the following:

• Call 999
• Call 111
• Take the person to the nearest emergency department (A&E) at your local hospital

Help them to stay safe while help is being arranged. Go to ‘I need help now’ to see tips on coping right now.

Here are some examples of potential signs that might let you know that someone could be thinking about suicide:
 

Actions:

• giving possessions away
• writing a will
• behaving in risky ways
• becoming withdrawn
• increasing use of drugs or alcohol
• stockpiling pills

 

Saying:

• they feel people would be better off without them
• their life has no purpose
• they would be better off dead
• they want a way out of pain or a difficult situation
• negative things about themselves

The individual may tell you they are okay but everything else around them points to them not being okay.
 

Life altering experiences such as:

• abuse
• bereavement
• relationship breakdown
• failing exams
• rejection
• financial difficulties

 

More subtle changes can include:

• becoming anxious
• being more irritable
• being more confrontational
• having mood swings
• sleeping too much or too little
• not wanting to be around other people
• avoiding contact with friends and family
• having different problems with work or studies.

Asking someone if they are considering suicide can be a daunting question, but it is safe to ask and helps both of you to be clear about the situation. Asking about suicide shows that you care enough to want to know how someone really is, and gives them permission to talk honestly about a difficult and stigmatised subject.
 
Many people fear talking directly about suicide in case they ‘give the person the idea’, but there is no evidence that talking about suicide can be harmful – quite the opposite in fact. For many people it can be a huge relief to be asked the question in a direct way.
 
Here are a few examples of how you may ask:
 

• have things got so bad that you are thinking about suicide?
• Sometimes when people talk about the feelings/situations you’ve been describing, they’re thinking about suicide. Are you thinking about suicide?
• The things you’ve been saying make me wonder if you’re thinking about suicide. Is that how you’re feeling right now?

 
If the person tells you they are considering suicide, ask if they have a plan. Listen without judgement which can help them to talk.  Stay calm, and do not worry about having the answers. Just having someone to listen with compassion and patience can help people feel less alone and less overwhelmed. If you still feel like they’re not answering honestly, ask twice.
 
Find out what kind of help they would appreciate: it might not be a professional service but could be a friend, family member, partner or other trusted person.

Below is a list of national and local services which can offer assistance.



If you are talking to someone who tells you that they are feeling suicidal and have a plan that they are going to act upon, do not leave the person on their own and do one of the following:

• take the person to the nearest emergency department at your local hospital
• Call 111
• call 999 to keep them or you safe.

Help them to stay safe while help is being arranged. Go to ‘I need help now’ to see tips on coping right now.

Check out the Dear Life Blog for upcoming news and service updates
 

Self-harm or self-injury is a form of behaviour that is used to cope with negative feelings.

If you are worried about someone who is self-harming, the following is a list of support resources.

Knowing that someone is thinking about suicide, can be distressing for you and could have an impact on your own mental health and wellbeing. It’s important that you know where to access support for yourself. 

Go to the ‘looking after yourself’ section for more ideas.